I’m sorry and yet I’m not sorry, Nicole.
I’m guilty of everything you hate me for, but I’m hoping that perhaps one day, if you’re unfortunate enough, yet educated with, the agony of a broken heart; you’ll understand the damnable misery of it all. To be denied your Soulmate is to live in adject Hell. Perhaps then, having allowed the pain of losing that which you predicated your hearts existence upon, you will with further age and experience – better grasp that old adagio ‘all’s fair in love and war’?
That’s bollocks, of course.
All is most certainly not fair. What I did to you, by proxy of hurting your Father with the Truth, was unforgivable. I do not deserve your forgiveness – sweet, brilliant, Beautiful young woman.
Just please know, and in the fullness of Time, come to understand that my punishment for my broken soul’s vengeance is having destroyed our burgeoning relationship (you were 12 back then, you’re a woman now) and any respect or feeling you could have developed for me.
And I lost your Mother.
I dream of we three, sometimes. The unlived reality of what our life could’ve been… Three of us – Happy, a Family. Me living there, taking us to Red Wings games at the Joe and soon Little Caesars…
My sentence far outstrips my crime.
The crime of finding The One…
The crime, of falling so irrevocably in Love, that I’d have done anything to keep it.
Darkgingerbread 