A conversation with an old flame yesterday perked me up considerably. This Lady always makes me smile and I needed some of that. I think she, perhaps, needed it too. I’ve been seriously under the weather lately, and with a lot on my plate. Illness means you often times get your rest, however. As a result I’ve slept like the dead the last few nights. My sleep though is never dreamless. As a result of my brief chat last night I ended up dreaming of paths not taken. My one year marriage was a childless mess, thank fuck. I still have the occasional angst attack regarding my former wife, but any guilt I felt over my part in that chapter of my life has long since left me. She more than paid me back for the hurt I caused her.
The romantic in me likes a certain theory within quantum physics. Stop me, if you’ve heard this one. It theorises that: for every decision you make (or made) in your life there’s another you, out there somewhere, in a parallel universe, living the life that branched from those decisions. With a writer’s head on – I hope that’s true.
It always makes me think of this song, by the British band Anathema, for some reason. That’s more than likely because when I ponder alternate universes it’s always related to the women in my life I’ve loved, and lost for one reason or another… Permit me this small whimsy?
‘I found you
In the dark
I found you
In the dark
Don’t leave me
Here
Don’t leave me
Staring at the sun
A love so strong it hurts
Staring at the sun
A love so strong it hurts
I dreamed of you
In the dark
You spoke to me
From afar
What you mean to me
Is clear
And I’ll always be near
I found you
In the dark
I found you
In the dark
Don’t leave me
Here
Don’t leave me
Staring at the sun
A love so strong it hurts
Staring at the sun
A love so strong it hurts
I look into your eyes
See my life defined
Look into your eyes
See your heart in mine…’
– CAVANAGH, DANIEL / CAVANAGH, VINCENT / DOUGLAS, JOHN JAMES / CAVANAGH, JAMIE.
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